Ok today's topic is a controversial one but before you get the wrong idea, I will say that this is not a legalistic post about what you can and can't wear. Modesty is by many women- associated with dress codes, strict parents, insecurity and legalism but i'm here to talk about how God views it. All too many of us christian girls would rather not think about what the bible says about how we present ourselves because we know it would mean we have to stand out. Some women brush Gods word off as being out dated, old fashioned or disregarded after the new testament. The topic is mainly looked at as controversial because everyone has their own opinions on what is acceptable and what is inappropriate. Some women who claim to be saved go as far to be a part of the feminist group that promotes wearing as little clothing as you want to make a point that they are confident and don't need to cover up for men.
Growing up as a child I remember thinking deeply about what I wear and how I cover myself. I remember one time when I was maybe 5 or 6 I told my mom I wanted to start wearing only skirts and dresses. I felt it on my heart at that age that girls were supposed to be distinct from boys and dress feminine and modest. I was also easily influenced by the opinions of others so I did not end up following through because I was afraid of getting judged. I always admired my distant relatives who dress very modest, and anytime I saw a family where the girls wear dresses and skirts I had nothing but respect, though I do not personally think dresses are the only "modest" way to dress.
As I got older I changed, I found it really hard to abide by the clothing standards my parents/places set. I've gone through the different stages of hating dress codes, feeling like the only clothes I could wear was boys clothes, feeling ugly in what I wear, and not knowing how to dress my body type in a way that looked good. At this point I was still dressing according to my parents standards but it was really hard for me to feel confident and comfortable in what I wore because nothing seemed flattering on me. I remember one time in an event someone complimented that I was modest and I burst out crying because of how hard it is to stand out and how appreciative I was that someone I looked up to thought highly of it. When I got older and more independent I started learning how to dress in a way that makes me look less like a misfit. I wanted to balance worldly appearance with godly appearances and at times I forgot what I believe God wants for me.
All that being said, you can tell it's a hard topic because the way we present ourselves affects our confidence and how others view us. To look different in a crowd is very difficult for many. One thing I know for sure is each year girls standards have gotten lower and lower on what is acceptable to wear. Within the past five or so years I've noticed that christian girls clothes get a couple inches shorter each year to the point where now it's exactly what the worldly girls are wearing. It was originally associated with seeking attention but now it's the norm. Myself included, my standards got lower and lower as others did.
Now I want to talk about what modesty is, because though I am mostly using the word to describe how girls dress, the word is definitely not only associated with clothing. Even the bible when talking about being modest seems to reference it as a way women present themselves overall. The bible talks about self-control, good works, humility and godliness all being virtues of modest women, focusing less on the appearance and more on the character. God calls women to dress respectable with a "gently, quiet spirit"... Not loud proud and prideful. Our adorning should not be on the outward with elaborate styles, excess jewlery, makeup and things that scream "look at me", rather our virtues should be built up in character and the way we walk, talk and how we act.
Women are praised and precious in the bible and beauty doesn't have to be dulled down to be approved by God. Beauty and femininity was created by God and I believe is to be embraced and separate from that of a man. It doesn't mean we have to hide every aspect that distinguishes us a woman, dress down or not take care of ourselves. It does mean that we are to dress respectable with dignity, not causing others to stumble by flaunting our bodies around in little to no clothing. Motive is key. If i'm correct, most christian girls intentions for dressing more worldly is not directed toward drawing men's attention but more so an issue of comparison with other girls. These days everyone's body is posted on social media and it's almost like a competition to show what you got. Everyone wants to fit in and modesty just hasn't been a standard that many girls carry through this generation. It's not about "men shouldn't look", it's about women shouldn't be over half naked in the first place and claim to be walking with christ. To sum it up, women are to be set apart from worldly women, not causing others to stumble, and seperate in appearance from men.
The last year i've been convicted and started asking God how He wants me to present myself rather than trying to fit in. I learned that there are lots of ways to feel pretty even without showing off my body. Though you have to search harder in the stores, there really are ways to dress fashionable and respectable at the same time. I definitely am not perfect and my standards are not the same as others, but modesty has given me more sense of confidence, safety and control. I'm sorry to say it but immodest christian women are dealing with insecurity and comparison or attention seeking sins. We've probably all been there at some point in our lives. If I had tried sharing something like this a few years ago I'd have been too afraid of what people might think of me but I don't have any insecurity in sharing because I know the way I dress makes me feel more valued, and not an object for others to stumble. We are the temple of the holy spirit and it's a blessing to dress as a child of God. Dressing with dignity and having modest character is nothing to be ashamed about, it is praised by God and respected by true godly men and women.
P.S. enjoy my little amish cover pic ;)
dearly,
danae
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