Have you ever heard a fellow Christian try and encourage you in the mist of a dark situation by saying "everything happens for a reason," or "it was part of God's plan"..? I definitely have, and it honestly swayed me farther from God in those times when people tried "standing up for God" in that way. Let me say I have come a long way since then and I am a strong believer in the Bible but guess what? those common phrases are nowhere to be seen in scripture! I believe using phrases like that are actually false sentences that seem harmless to the person speaking them but push away the hurting person because anyone going through deep things knows that believing that means there is something wrong with God's system.
From the person saying those words, they probably have the best of intentions and a good relationship with God, however they probably didn't think through what it even means for "everything to happen for a reason", rather they've heard it and it sounded right... To the person receiving this phrase, however it becomes an offense because it simply isn't biblically true! Everything does not happen for a reason pertaining to God's plan.
As I said, I had heard many people speak this in the past and it always felt wrong but I never thought it through until now. I just realized that those are not biblical phrases or derived from scripture, it is partial truth mixed with a man made hopeful thought. If you have been told these things when recovering from pain, I want to let you know you are not a bad Christian for getting rubbed the wrong way by it.
Let me explain. God created a perfect, sinless world where everything WOULD HAVE been part of His plan had man chosen not to rebel and eat the fruit (garden of eden). Man chose to sin which was NOT part of God's plan for them, therefore all of humanity face the consequences. We all have now sinful human nature, the ability to be given to satan and his demons, or to follow God; and we ALL, no matter who we chose to follow, will face the earthly consequences of men's sinful nature, satan and all the death, destruction, and pain that comes with it regardless of our relationship with God. Just as it wasn't God's plan for us to live this way, everything that happens now is 1000% not always "part of His plan".
There are extremes to using the phrase... to tell someone grieving a loss is one extreme, and to say it over something like loosing $5 is another. Both are still just inaccurate representations of God. In this earth we all are affected negatively by coincidences, sin, evil, and catastrophic events but God doesn't enforce all of those things on us because it's what He wants for us specifically, He allows it because that's what man chose when we let sin into our lives.
When bad things happen the most common question is "why"? And there probably isn't always going to be a pin point answer to every situation. God is avalible through all trials, He is present in recovering and His hand can be guiding people through pain and suffering. He can without a doubt turn any situation into something beautiful in the end and create revival that could happen though a bad experience. The take home is that some things happen when they weren't "meant to happen" or placed in your life by God; Don't allow the confusion of people telling you otherwise to change your view on who God is, instead go to scripture and find out how God wants to be with you though life and whatever you may face.
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